Cheryl Burke Says She Has "a Lot of Years" to Make Up for Relationship With a "Narcissist"

Cheryl Burke is hitting her cues as she sashays into the next chapter of her life.

The 39-year-old recently got candid on moving forward after her divorce from Matthew Lawrence in September 2022 and retiring from Dancing with the Stars after 26 seasons.

"So many changes, I think it was from the divorce to leaving the show to a move all in one year," Cheryl exclusively told E! News' Francesca Amiker, "but I'm still standing."

She continued, "There were two divorces, one was with the show and one was with my ex-husband. I am learning so much about myself and I am also learning that there is no such thing as your own identity being defined by anything outside of you."

These days, Cheryl's philosophies on self-love are on pointe, but when it comes to dating, the star isn't making any commitments just yet. 

"I have been on dates, yes. Has there been anyone to brag bout? No. I am not in a rush," she admitted. "I owe this to myself. You know they say every narcissist you date you owe a year to yourself. I've got a lot of years to make up, OK?"

Cheryl explained that after speaking with Dr. Ramani Durvasula about her dating life, she questioned if it's normal that she hasn't had a serious relationship in a few years, to which the doctor explained that the Dancing Lessons author deserves this time alone.

And although it takes two to tango, Cheryl has put her foot down when it comes to certain dating styles.

"I'm not actively looking because I'm not even on a dating app—I refuse," she said. "You're swiping through and the only time you stop swiping is when you think someone looks good, and that is just ass-backwards for me."

She added, "That's not what I'm looking for. I'm not looking for someone with no personality that's on my Abercrombie & Fitch shopping bag. I'm not doing that. I am almost 40 years old."

But what does Cheryl want IRL? "I'm looking for someone who can really inspire me that makes me think that supports me and vice versa," she listed. "[Someone] that is his own person and I'm my own individual person but then we come together because we enjoy each other's company."

But the podcast host is not opposed to dating a celebrity again, despite a highly publicized divorce.

"If they have the qualities I mentioned, I guess that doesn't matter because again that's not your identity," she reiterated. "That's not even in the tunnel vision of what I'm looking for."

And along with moving on from her divorce, Cheryl also isn't letting her career become her entire identity, despite her major success on the ABC competition show, dancing for 16 years and winning two mirror ball trophies. 

"The show didn't identify who I truly am at all. It was a part of me, absolutely, and same thing with my relationships," the professional dancer shared with E! News. "If you do define yourself by the outside world, it is so temporary. And then that's when you feel the loss, the emptiness, the loneliness."

Cheryl is putting in the work for self-love, sharing her goals of setting boundaries, manifest everything she wants and having more clarity on who she is.

Along with getting candid on her love life to E!, Cheryl is also opening up on her new iHeartRadio podcast Sex, Lies, & Spray Tans, which premiered Sept. 17.

As for what listeners can expect? As she puts it, "I am not here to talk bad about the show by any means, because I know where I came from and I always will be grateful for where I came from, which was Dancing with the Stars."

Cheryl added that although she expressed her feelings through dance for most of her life, she is "now learning how to express my emotions and my thoughts and feelings through words, and the podcast couldn't have come at a more perfect time."

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