Eva Mendes Reveals “Hardest Pattern” to Break as Mom to Her and Ryan Gosling’s Kids
Eva Mendes views her parenting as a work in progress.
While the Hitch actress—who shares daughters Esmeralda, 10, and Amada, 8, with longtime love Ryan Gosling—prefers to keep her kids out of the spotlight, she did recently address her personal parenting struggles.
“I think one of the hardest patterns for me is yelling. Because I don’t yell when they need me,” Eva shared on the Oct. 15 episode of Parenting & You With Dr. Shefali. “I’m never like ‘shut up.’ It’s not like a ‘mean’ yell, but it doesn’t matter. I yell. And it’s this yelling that I find so cultural.”
“I’m having a hard time getting through and not yelling,” the 50-year-old continued. “The rushing and the yelling, that’s the hardest thing to me.”
Eva, who was born to Cuban parents Eva Pérez Suárez and Juan Carlos Méndez, said that despite growing up surrounded by love, fear played a role in how she was raised.
“I hope I don’t look back in 20 years and go ‘oh shoot,’ because I really don’t want to raise by fear,” Eva noted, getting audibly choked up. “That’s the one—sorry, I get emotional over it—because it’s so not fair to the kids. I hope that I’m not unknowingly putting some pressure on them through fear like I was raised.”
The children’s book author admitted that she’s fallen into a common trap when it comes to parenting her own kids.
“When I was in my 20s, for sure, I’m like, ‘I’m not gonna be like my parents,’ you know, that whole thing,” she admitted. “And I’m shocked [by] how much I’m like my mother. I adore her. She’s on a pedestal… but yeah, my household when I was little was very chaotic, a lot of screaming, a lot of anxiety, a lot of turmoil, even though I had a loving family.”
While she felt she could excuse her mother’s behavior due to Eva Sr.’s “very difficult childhood full of trauma,” the Other Guys actress admitted, “A lot of shame came up for me because I was like, ‘I have it so good. My mom, she fought to get here. I was the only one born in the States. How dare I even complain?'”
As for mom shamers on the Internet, Eva shared that her experience in the entertainment industry oddly prepared her to take on the trolls.
“I think maybe it’s years of practice, taking so much criticism as an actress or an entertainer or a public figure that’s really helped me when it comes to parenting,” she admitted. “I’m like, ‘OK, I know this isn’t personal. I don’t feel judged.’”
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Title：Eva Mendes Reveals “Hardest Pattern” to Break as Mom to Her and Ryan Gosling’s Kids
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