Why Love Is Blind Is Like "Marriage Therapy" For Vanessa Lachey and Nick Lachey

Vanessa Lachey doesn't need a pod to strengthen her lasting connection with Nick Lachey—but the show itself has done wonders.

In fact, as the Love Is Blind cohost shared, the Netflix dating show has helped the couple, who have been married for 12 years, in its own way.

"It's such a blessing because I get to do it with Nick," Vanessa told E! News in an exclusive interview, which aired Feb. 15. "And it really has become an important part of our marriage. It's like the living marriage therapy."

As the NCIS: Hawaiʻi star, who is mom to kids Camden, 11, Brooklyn, 9, and Phoenix, 7, explained, "We get to get time away from our children. But we're working and we're working together. It's just such a great position to be in, and I'm very grateful."

Throughout Love Is Blind and Netflix's The Ultimatum (where they also serve as cohosts), Vanessa and Nick have opened up about their decades-long relationship. In fact, the MTV alum became emotional when she recalled one of their toughest points as a couple.

"Nick and I have been together for 16 years and we know each other, married for 11, but it's so funny that for some reason we don't learn more about each other until we're in, like, a therapy session," she shared during season two of The Ultimatum in August 2023. "And the reason why I'm choking up is because I've had to get through so much s--t to be the best woman for him."

She continued, "Every single issue we had, every issue I brought up, to find that person, that I can trust and that can carry me through is what made us unstoppable."

For more of Nick and Vanessa's most candid confessions, keep reading.

NCIS: Hawaiʻi airs on CBS Mondays at 10 p.m.

Given the fact that Vanessa Lachey has openly admitted to issuing a final proposition to Nick Lachey after they were dating for five years and he had no plans to propose, the couple were the perfect pick to host Netflix's The Ultimatum.

"I finally said, 'What are we doing?'" Vanessa shared during the premiere episode of the reality series. "I have now moved in with him. I renovated his entire bachelor pad. There was a bar in the pool. I'm like, 'Whatever you want.' Now I want kids in the pool. So that's when I started the dance [waves ring finger in the air]."

And, initially, Nick chose to move on rather than marry, with the pair breaking up for a short period of time, in which they each saw one other person. 

"It took us splitting up for about a month and then coming back and him saying, I want to make this work,'" Vanessa told E! News at the 2022 premiere of The Ultimatum. "He was the one who suggested couple's therapy."

After reconciling in 2009, the pair got married in 2011.

During season one of The Ultimatum, Vanessa reflected on the early years of her romance with Nick and the idea that she was getting what was left of the 98 Degrees singer after his divorce from Jessica Simpson in 2006.

"He was literally in a very public marriage and a very public divorce," she explained in episode six. "I had to go through all that s--t very publicly and it was very hard for us. It wasn't until the moment that he was like, 'I'm gonna let it go,' and I said, 'I'm gonna let it go,' and we truly committed to each other."

Nick added, "We literally fell deeper and harder than we ever could."

While Vanessa served as a VJ on MTV's Total Request Live, which often played 98 Degrees' music videos (one of which Vanessa starred in), she admitted to not being a fan of Nick's boy band during the couple's 2022 appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show.

"It's not because I didn't love your music," she explained to Nick. "I was an *NSYNC fan."

We wonder what Ryan Reynolds will think of this proposal.

While hosting The Ultimatum season two reunion, Nick was able to correctly guess that the Deadpool star is who Vanessa would pick as her celebrity hall pass—a.k.a. the star you'd hook-up with if given the chance, with pre-permission from your partner. 

This prompted Vanessa to quip to the camera, "Ryan, uh, call us," and Nick couldn't help but laugh at his wife of more than a decade shooting her shot with the actor, who has been married to Blake Lively since 2012.

And when The Ultimatum contestant Ryann McCracken revealed her hall pass would also be Reynolds, Nick joked," Ryan's gonna be one busy guy!"

One of the secrets to the Lacheys' 11-year marriage? 

"Shower sex," Vanessa revealed during a 2020 episode of The Bellas Podcast. "So, I'm in the shower and I'm like, 'I have a full day. You have a full day. It's either now or never.' The kids are at school. It happens and then later that night, if you get like the cherry on top, great. But if not, we already did shower sex."

While some couples may consider going through each other's phone a red flag, Vanessa fessed up to the act during The Ultimatum's season one reunion special.

"There was a time in my life when I did it," she told a contestant who had also gone through her partner's phone. In response to his wife's confession, Nick said, "You wait, what?" The NCIS: Hawaii actress quickly responded, "You did it too! I'm actually surprised you figured out my password that was a good one."

The couple then explained that they halted their sneaky ways when their therapist told them that they "shouldn't be together" if they didn't trust each other.

"I was like, 'You're right,'" Vanessa said. "'I need to trust this man and he needs to trust me.'"

The Dancing With the Stars ballroom wasn't the best environment for Nick, who revealed he didn't love his experience on the ABC show's 25th season.

"That was one of those things—I'm glad I did it," he told Us Weekly in 2018. "I'm glad I checked it off the list, and I can look back and say, 'I have no regrets,' but it was not one of the fonder moments in my life."

Nick went on to admit he doesn't "like dancing," explaining it as a reason he "shouldn't have done it to begin with."

While the couple isn't afraid to open up now, it wasn't always the case for Vanessa, who got emotional about her personal growth journey during The Ultimatum's second season.

"Nick and I have been together for 16 years and we know each other—married for 11—but it's so funny that for some reason we don't learn more about each other until we're in, like, a therapy session," she shared during the sixth episode. "And the reason why I'm choking up is because I've had to get through so much s--t to be the best woman for him."

"Every single issue we had, every issue I brought up—to find that person, that I can trust and that can carry me through," she continued, "is what made us unstoppable."

And that inner work made her closer than ever with her husband, with Vanessa explaining it was "so freeing to tell everything" to someone who would "be there to pick you up."

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